Thoughts of an Old Codger: June – Report Time
The following thoughts, recollections and advice
are entirely those of “Old Codger” and not those of the NUT nationally or
locally
We had
a lovely day out the other week. A visit to that bastion of integrity,
parliament or the House of Conman’s as some may know it better. I wondered why
I had so much free time on my hands, and then I remembered that for the first
time in decades I didn’t have a multitude of asinine reports to write. Of
course in my later years the advent of new technology decreased the amount of
time spent poring over them but the converse was that with the onset of
political correctness I spent longer trying to phrase my comments to avoid a
lawsuit in later years from some “spotty Herbert” claiming lifelong trauma from
being described as a sandwich sort of a picnic, or as honest as an MP.
In
order to help TITS (those in teaching still) I enclose a foolproof guide to
enable you to say what you really mean without offending anybody.
Satisfactory
progress: I can’t think of a single interesting thing about him.
Easygoing:
Bone idle.
Lively:
Thoroughly disruptive.
A
sensitive child: Never stops whining.
Helpful:
Creep.
Reliable:
Grasses on his friends.
Expresses
himself confidently: Cheeky little devil.
Enjoys
all PE activities: Thug.
Works
better in a small group: Don’t take your eyes off him.
Needs
praise and encouragement: Thick as two short planks.
Works
better at practical activities: Totally illiterate.
Good
with his hands: Light-fingered.
Independent-minded:
Totally obstinate.
A vivid
imagination: Never short of an excuse.
If you
wish to express gratitude (no cheque is too small to cause offence) please
forward your contributions to me care of the Shady Pines Retirement Home. For
security reasons (social security) I also have a second address) Dunmoaning,
Cosit, Herts.
Time to
go and feed the ducks in the moat. Have a great break. You have earned it. See
you in September!!!
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